A few months, and only a few posts ago, I talked a little bit about my struggle with my chaotic feeling life. When things started to get really out of control, and I felt like being angry was the only thing that was possible for my day, I made a decision to spend time in God's word reminding myself daily of what exactly His promises are for me. Since that time I have been very intentional in spending time reading and I have found myself craving more scripture. I told Jeremy that it felt like I was asleep inside my own body and I finally felt awake. On my way in to work I was thinking about the past few months and I remembered something that I wanted to share.
Over Thanksgiving break my sister and brother-in-love traveled out of town and and I decided to decorate their house for Christmas. I drove over, pulled all of the Christmas stuff out of the attic, and started decorating. I got really frustrated because I couldn't find the tree stand, and the tree weighs about 50 pounds, and then I had to spend an hour fluffing the tree. I just got angry and wanted to quit. I kept telling myself that I didn't need that frustration and that she would be fine putting it together when she got home that night or the next morning... I did the hardest part of taking it all down.
I remember stopping myself in my frustration and reminding myself why I was doing it. I wasn't doing it to get recognized or to make it crazy beautiful, I was doing it to serve my sister becuase I love her and she was spending her whole day in a car (with a baby). I specifically remember reminding myself of what a task decorating for Christmas was and to just be patient. I also remember thinking to myself, "Hilary you knew this would be hard, but you love her."
It was at that moment where I felt like God was really trying to teach me something. In everything that I faced I just couldn't get over this hump that I was in. But it was because I thought that things would be easy. Except He never promised me that my life would be easy. In fact, he tells me in His word that I will face trouble, hardships, and persecution. Everything that I had faced in the last few months began to just flash in my mind and I instantly began to see them differently. Each struggle began to have a purpose in how God was shaping me and what He was teaching me.
By the time I finished decorating I stood in her living room, with the nothing but the Christmas lights on, and cried at how beautiful it was. I was so excited that my sister would walk into such a beautiful scene. It was a struggle at first, but I knew she would know exactly how much I loved her when she walked in the door. And she did. She was so excited.
I thought it was funny that God would remind me of this on my drive in this morning. I needed to remember this today because he knew how today would play out. I was reminded that at the end of all of this, each struggle, there will be something beautiful to look at and know that God had a plan for all of it. I am thankful for his reminders and his promises. My friend also shared this with me as a reminder, and I will leave you with it:
Romans 8: 28-39:
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written:
“For your sake we face death all day long;
we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. "
xoxo-
Hilary
