2 songs.

There are 2 songs that I am really just loving right now and I just wanted to share them!

Beautiful, Beautiful by Francesca Battistelli

I heard this song the day I finally came out of jet lag from Uganda. I was in the car and I just smiled as the lyrics poured out. Who knew that before my birth, before my parents thought knew that I would be a part of their life, God had a beautiful plan for my life!?! It was just an exhilarating thought! Every time it comes on I just cry like a baby in praise to my Father for all that he has blessed me with!

The next song is new, to me at least. It's "Starry Night" by Chris August. I just love it! It's just a sincere song. I can relate to thinking the things he mentions in his song and just rejoicing in the little (or grand) things God does to show this world how much he loves us and is there for us always!

I wonder sometimes how people can just put their thoughts into lyrics of songs. It's such a beautiful talent and I appreciate all of the song writers out there. It's encouraging to know that they think and feel the same things I do!

Holding on

Hey friends... this is Valerie (Hils twin) and I am going to be a "guest columnist" for Hils blog today. She was kind enough to let me share with you some of my thoughts...

For those of you who don't currently know my situation, I am in school, working AND doing an internship. Needless to say, life is pretty hectic for me. Thankfully, I have an amazing husband who supports me, emotionally and financially, as I seek to follow where God is leading me. But not even his love could prevent my emotional downward spiral. This morning something happened that sent me over the edge- I broke down and I wept for probably 4 hours (nothing major.. like a medical condition.. just personal stuff). The way I normally relieve my tension and anxiety is to hit the treadmill. So I go to the gym and someone is on "MY" treadmill and I'm forced to use the one next to it. Normally I watch TV while I run but this time I just needed to run and think. This particular machine had a sign on the wall directly in front of it (the only machine with a sign on the wall in front of it). It said something along the lines of "don't hold on to the treadmill unless you are checking your heart rate" and at the bottom in small letters it said "Think about it... do you walk around holding on to something?"

As I ran, I kept reading those words. I couldn't get over them for some reason and I kept reading that sentence. Then at about mile 2- as I cried on the treadmill- it was like the words came off the paper and hit me in the face. I was walking around holding on to a lot of somethings. Many things that were given to me as a blessing and I had begun seeing as a right or something I earned by myself. Everything I have and everyone in my life was placed there strategically by God. But, I began to let them take the place of Christ on and in my heart. I was holding on to little pieces of everything, to keep my control over as much as I could. My life has become about surviving and not SERVING. And I became comfortable with all this goodness God had given me (because honestly He has given me an amaaaazing life!). I didn't need to be a servant every day. I didn't need to pray every day. I didn't need to THANK God for his blessings every day. I was content and I was surviving... until this morning.

Hosea 13:6 says "When I fed them, they were satisfied; when they were satisfied, they became proud; then they forgot me."

Now that doesn't mean I woke up and literally forgot who God even was... that means I forgot that my trust should be in HIM for ALL things; I should be holding on to Him and not holding on to all my somethings. If I hold on to Him, my way will be made right and everything will work out for His perfect plan for my life.. like it says in Psalm 18:32 "It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect". Not Valerie who makes it perfect.. no matter how hard I try or how much I can control. I may not like it. I may not have control like I want. But I will have trust that God would not put me somewhere he hasn't prepared me to go or give me something that I couldn't handle. We need to learn to stop holding on to our somethings and hold on to Christ. This adventure, called life, that he has put us on will be that much more amazing if we can just put all of our trust in Him. He needs to have my whole heart and your whole heart- not just a piece or a section.

I pray that you can use any part of this to better your life with Christ. We all struggle with different things and I can guarantee you that my lesson with this is not over. But I am not perfect and neither are you. Start serving and stop just surviving.

Being Blind

So, a few updates on my trip. I've contact EAC and let them know that I am interested in coming back. I don't know the exact dates, yet, but am sure at least 1 other girl is going with me. Please pray for our trip as we being the logistics of this travel. There is the potential for more girls to come, but I am not sure. Everyone else has to do an application, so soon we should know. I've also had the wonderful privilege of speaking with my pastor at Blaney about support. He feels strongly that the Lord wants Blaney to provide support for my trip, both financially and prayerfully! I couldn't be more blessed and humbled! It's such a feeling of God's presence. I'm excited about what I've already learned, and it is much easier this go around.

I've also had a talk with my boss about my potential of not being at Columbia College anymore. We aren't sure what the options are, but I told her I am 100% sure I will be going and they can't rely on me past May. It was such a bittersweet moment. I have felt the Lord and seen the Lord working in so many ways at my workplace, but I know he has called me back to Africa. It's the funniest thing when you make a decision like that. Before, when I spoke about my trips or saw pictures from it I just cried like a little girl! Now I can feel my heart just longing to return and doing a little happy dance inside my heart! It hasn't been easy, though. I've been struggling with things I will leave behind, relationships I won't have at my fingertips, the comforts of my sweet, southern home and my friends and family all around me. The more I read the gospels and see the words Jesus spoke, though, the more I am encouraged to be a light in this dark world!!

This morning I was reading from the book of John and I started to wonder what life was like for Jesus and the Jewish people. I have continued to have some negative support from people about going to Africa. I understand. I once was in their shoes and know how the worry and uneasiness of a traveling to Africa may feel. It's easy to get discouraged, but I take refuge in Jesus's ministry. In John 9, it tells of the story of the blind man. Jesus spits in the ground, puts the mud on his eyes, tells him to wash it off and when he does he can see. The Pharisees question him about it and he doesn't really give an answer. I just kept reading and reading the same sentences and felt a little frustrated. They called his parents in and it says, "...for already the Jews had decided that anyone who acknowledged that Jesus was the Christ would be put out of the synagogue." They were afraid to answer even though they saw that their son had sight. The Pharisees eventually threw the man out and Jesus spoke to him about who he was- the Son of Man. The man believed and worshiped him. That's the story in a nutshell, but I encourage you to read it.

It really got me to thinking about our own complacencies. Last week I had a conversation with some students and co-workers about the fact that we are so scared to hurt people's feelings that we won't hold them accountable anymore. This mans parents were so scared to say something for themselves! What are we afraid of? We see things happening all the time, and yet, we stand idly by. We only step in when it starts to affect our lives directly. I know there's a time and a place for some things, but if we can't be real with each other, we can't be real with ourselves! Does that make sense? It does to me! It's a hard process getting ready to go to Africa. The Lord reveals some things about yourself that you just don't like. Thank you, Lord, for your Son who died so that I might have a relationship with you!

Uganda 2011

I was reminded this week of the blessing of children. I have never imagined working with them, but God uses them in such a powerful way! A few weeks ago, on the radio, I heard someone talking about the importance of sponsoring a child. He said something along the lines of sponsoring a child gives their whole family what they need to worship Christ. Through sponsorship the child is given a bible, love, an education, and is taught about Christ. When that child comes to accept Christ into their lives he or she will then take that message to the rest of their family! It made me think about my trip to Africa. We worked with and will work with children of all ages, from different backgrounds, in different circumstances. We are called to love them and share the good news of the gospel with them. When we do that, for that child, we are impacting endless amounts of people- family, friends, future schoolmates and co-workers!

When I was reading this morning I read the story of Jesus healing an officials son in John 4: 43-54. Take time to read it. I won't add it to my post because it's very long. What really stood out to me was verse 53. It says, "Then the father realized that this was the exact time which Jesus had said to him, "Your son will live." So he and all his household believed."

It is a little bit of a different circumstance, but it made me think of the power of a child. God uses these little people to do amazing things for his kingdom. This week in my arts and crafts class I saw a child show compassion for someone else through the act of making a birthday card. I have some boys in my class who don't usually care what we do because they're not interested in art. It's ok with me, but I do ask them to sit with everyone and to be on their best behavior. I asked my students to do me a favor and make a birthday card for a friend of mine who doesn't have the support of her real family. Her mother kicked her out after the graduated high school and she's put herself through college. I wanted her to have a very special birthday. As class drew closer to an end, the boy came up to me and quietly asked for a piece of blue construction paper. With 5 minutes left in class he went to the back of the class and just started doodling. As he was leaving he came up to me and handed me a card that had her name on the friend, happy birthday on the inside and a BIG purple heart that he cut from paper. My heart melted when he handed it to me because I heard the compassion in his voice as he said he hopes she has a great birthday! It's those moments where God is alive and working in our children to change this world!

I can't wait to go back to Uganda and to work with these children, but I am blessed by the blessing of the children all around me here, too!

Luke 9:48 says, "Whoever welcomes this little child in my name welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me welcomes the one who sent me. For he who is the least among you all- he is the greatest." Amina!

This picture is from my friends birthday dinner when she got all of her birthday cards! Happy 21st birthday!

I stand amazed.

I finally made it to John! It's a wonderful accomplishment. It was my goal to read the gospels in order and I am almost done! I've read them all individually, but I've never read them back to back. I am enjoying it because they are all so similar, but each uniquely different. This morning I was reading from John 4. It's the story of the samaritan woman at the well. I know that story so I breezed right through it. My eyes began to open starting in verse 27 and I know the Lord had a special plan for me to read this today! It says:

Just then his disciples returned and were surprised to find him talking with a woman. But no one asked, “What do you want?” or “Why are you talking with her?”

Then, leaving her water jar, the woman went back to the town and said to the people, “Come, see a man who told me everything I ever did. Could this be the Messiah?” They came out of the town and made their way toward him.

Meanwhile his disciples urged him, “Rabbi, eat something. But he said to them, “I have food to eat that you know nothing about.Then his disciples said to each other, “Could someone have brought him food?”

“My food,” said Jesus, “is to do the will of him who sent me and to finish his work. Don’t you have a saying, ‘It’s still four months until harvest’? I tell you, open your eyes and look at the fields! They are ripe for harvest. Even now the one who reaps draws a wage and harvests a crop for eternal life, so that the sower and the reaper may be glad together. Thus the saying ‘One sows and another reaps’ is true. I sent you to reap what you have not worked for. Others have done the hard work, and you have reaped the benefits of their labor.”

I emphasized the lines that really hit me. These past few weeks I've been drowning in my own trouble. What I mean is that I have been making up conflict to have conflict, to not be satisfied and just all together being selfish. It's a very real temptation and struggle. Who doesn't want to provide for themselves and thinks they know just what they need. Well I know nothing compared to what God knows for me! This morning as I read this I just kept thinking about how selfish I am. Although I would love to be married, have a family and a home of my own, just things women my age struggle with, I am being fed by something beyond myself. God is filling me up spiritually to do his work! Philippians 2:21 says this: " For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain." That's a pretty tough verse for me to swallow, however, I am blessed every day with reminders that he has a plan, he will provide all of my needs and he is at work all around me- why wouldn't I want to join in on that?!

I love my new bible study workbook called Experiencing God and am so excited about how God is constantly working around me. The more I see him doing, the more I am amazed! Where is he at work in your life?