What if?

I'll be honest. I've been struggling a lot with the "What if?" question. I can feel myself silently crying out for answers. Right now I am living in a lot of uncertainties. For example, I don't know if I'll have a job soon because of my decision to follow God's call to Africa. As awesome as going to Africa sounds, the thought of me not having a job is really scary if I let myself think about it. Thinking about it leads to worry and worry does no good.

Today God has really been showing me those insecurities and uncertainties. I opened my bible study book today and a scripture that was mentioned was a favorite of mine from Matthew 6:33-34. It says, "But seek first his kingdom and righteousness, and all these things will given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

No big deal, I thought. I know that scripture and I think I live it out pretty well. The more I thought about it, though, the more I realized how I stray from that scripture! I want to know how my life will turn out so badly! I want to know what will happen when I get back from Africa or when I'll get married or when my family will accept Jesus as their savior or how my friends futures will turn out... I want to know all of these things and more.

I know I am not the only one who struggles with this. Society teaches us that we can make things happen on our own, it teaches us to be selfish. It's really hard to die to ourselves every day and live for Christ when we live in a world that makes us feel great for being selfish.

In the midst of these feelings of confusion and selfishness I was reminded of a promise God made to me. I've read this scripture, a lot, but it's never quite jumped out at my like it did today. It's Jeremiah 29:11-14 and it says, "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you, declares the Lord, and I will bring you back from captivity..."

It is so comforting to know that God speaks to me through his word, He loves me and has great plans for me! It can't be more clear then that. When I was doubting, God reminded me of this verse. I may have a lot of uncertainties ahead of me, but I am certain of God's love for me. He has great plans for me, and all I have to do is follow! It's as simple as that. I am so thankful of the things, people, circumstances that God uses to remind us of his love for us!