A girls gotta laugh...

So, since I was a little girl I have dreamed about getting married. I know what you're thinking... where is she going with this? Well, I've had such a hard time with this parasite thing physically changing things on my body, and I don't mean anything extreme, but I've been jokingly referring to myself as the leper of the group. Now, with my finger nail about to fall off I've really had to battle whether or not my happiness comes from Christ or having this finger nail. Sounds silly, I know, but here are my thoughts:

Before I knew it was a boil, I was going to projects and the first thing the kids did when they saw it was point it out and ask what it was. Some MSTs, when they were talking to me, would look away from my eyes and talk to this growth on my chin. I had mosquito bites, bug bites and blisters all over my body that, instead of healing, they continually got more and more swollen with puss. And, my finger nail is on the verge of falling off (which I wish, now, it just would because the pain is unbearable at times and I want to stop popping pills). When people look at it they make these really gross faces, almost like the "I'm sorry, that's so disgusting" face. I can joke about it now, but I honestly had a hard time with these problems.

One day this week I jokingly mentioned to Amy, another MST here, that I didn't want to go out of the house because the boil on my face was so ugly. I tried covering it with makeup, I was obsessively cleaning it to try and make it better, I even put my hair in front of my face to try and cover it. Well, the morning I said this to Amy she reminded me that we were going to Katalemwa- the hospital for Children with severe disabilities and she said to me that they don't care what I look like, just that I'm a mzungo coming to play.

Only for the sake of the blog am I putting this picture up. 

It really got me thinking about how much time, energy, hope, etc we put into things like great skin, a perfect body...just winning looks, you know? I can almost guarantee that every person reading this post has had a moment where they didn't feel good enough, pretty enough, strong enough, capable enough. I can honestly, and embarrassingly, admit that I didn't go to the doctor earlier because I knew they'd do something that would make my nail come off and I couldn't have that. 

I really began to question my motives and I always end up appreciating the little life lessons you get along the way of what started out as girly disasters. One of my favorite scripture verses of all time is from Proverbs 31:30 and says, "Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." I've been thinking a lot about this scripture and what it means to my life. 

I want to fear the Lord above all else. I continually found myself down in the dumps over a boil on my face and a gross finger, but I haven't lost anything. Even if I lose my nail it will come back to me. I began using this opportunity to praise God for the things he has blessed me with. I began every morning literally praising God for being awake and alive. That's something I forget to do in the business of life. I felt my heart just being transformed by the little blessings God was reminding me of daily. My relationships with friends here began to absolutely flourish because I was at my most vulnerable state... God was glorified in my shame and insecurities. 

This week is going to be fantastic. I've taken the opportunity to step up a little in leading more praise and worship. I'm really excited about that. We will be in Kampala this week and maybe the village next week... you never know, though! I'll hopefully have lots of photos to show you from the weeks events. 

ALSO, my friend Jennifer is starting a fundraiser to help build a family in Zerobwe a new house. It will cost $5,000, which is a lot for a house, but we know it's doable. She leaves in a little over a week, so I'm hoping to help her out with this project. There's a girl from an earlier post, Shakira, one of my favorite children from the village, it's for her family. There are 6 children and 1 on the way and their house is falling apart. It's one of the typical village huts made of sticks and mud. I'll update more on this later. AND, last but not least, I have been really thinking and praying about how to help the village and it dawned on me during my last visit there that very few people have Bibles to read. It's so exciting to go and preach, pray and teach the people, but when there are weeks like the past 2 where we aren't there I wonder about how they are getting the word. There's a place in town, Kampala, that has bibles for 18,000 Uganda Shillings, which is roughly 8-9 dollars a piece. It's still a brainstorm idea, but besides prayer the most important thing I feel I can do is help provide families in the village with a bible in their language. So, please be in prayer about that!

I hope you've enjoyed today's post. I look forward to updating you on all things boilish, falling nails, bibles, village houses and ministry later on in the week! I love you all!! 10 more weeks until I'm home. Please pray that they would be fruitful!! xoxoxo