Being Blind

So, a few updates on my trip. I've contact EAC and let them know that I am interested in coming back. I don't know the exact dates, yet, but am sure at least 1 other girl is going with me. Please pray for our trip as we being the logistics of this travel. There is the potential for more girls to come, but I am not sure. Everyone else has to do an application, so soon we should know. I've also had the wonderful privilege of speaking with my pastor at Blaney about support. He feels strongly that the Lord wants Blaney to provide support for my trip, both financially and prayerfully! I couldn't be more blessed and humbled! It's such a feeling of God's presence. I'm excited about what I've already learned, and it is much easier this go around.

I've also had a talk with my boss about my potential of not being at Columbia College anymore. We aren't sure what the options are, but I told her I am 100% sure I will be going and they can't rely on me past May. It was such a bittersweet moment. I have felt the Lord and seen the Lord working in so many ways at my workplace, but I know he has called me back to Africa. It's the funniest thing when you make a decision like that. Before, when I spoke about my trips or saw pictures from it I just cried like a little girl! Now I can feel my heart just longing to return and doing a little happy dance inside my heart! It hasn't been easy, though. I've been struggling with things I will leave behind, relationships I won't have at my fingertips, the comforts of my sweet, southern home and my friends and family all around me. The more I read the gospels and see the words Jesus spoke, though, the more I am encouraged to be a light in this dark world!!

This morning I was reading from the book of John and I started to wonder what life was like for Jesus and the Jewish people. I have continued to have some negative support from people about going to Africa. I understand. I once was in their shoes and know how the worry and uneasiness of a traveling to Africa may feel. It's easy to get discouraged, but I take refuge in Jesus's ministry. In John 9, it tells of the story of the blind man. Jesus spits in the ground, puts the mud on his eyes, tells him to wash it off and when he does he can see. The Pharisees question him about it and he doesn't really give an answer. I just kept reading and reading the same sentences and felt a little frustrated. They called his parents in and it says, "...for already the Jews had decided that anyone who acknowledged that Jesus was the Christ would be put out of the synagogue." They were afraid to answer even though they saw that their son had sight. The Pharisees eventually threw the man out and Jesus spoke to him about who he was- the Son of Man. The man believed and worshiped him. That's the story in a nutshell, but I encourage you to read it.

It really got me to thinking about our own complacencies. Last week I had a conversation with some students and co-workers about the fact that we are so scared to hurt people's feelings that we won't hold them accountable anymore. This mans parents were so scared to say something for themselves! What are we afraid of? We see things happening all the time, and yet, we stand idly by. We only step in when it starts to affect our lives directly. I know there's a time and a place for some things, but if we can't be real with each other, we can't be real with ourselves! Does that make sense? It does to me! It's a hard process getting ready to go to Africa. The Lord reveals some things about yourself that you just don't like. Thank you, Lord, for your Son who died so that I might have a relationship with you!