Oh, Anxiety...

Occasionally I suffer from anxiety. I'm thankful it's not my constant state of mind or living. I know some people who live in anxiousness of almost everything. My anxiety usually sneaks up on me I have a hard time dealing with it. I don't know what to do, who to talk to, what to even pray for... it is a huge struggle for me to even admit! My anxiety is just coming from realizing that I have 5 weeks left in Uganda. I think a normal person on a mission trip wouldn't really even think about going home 5 weeks before they go. We say goodbye to people constantly here and it's just been on my mind a lot: what will happen when I go, who will I see when I get home, what my goodbye will look like, how I'll handle leaving, etc, etc. On top of that I am just dealing with a few personal struggles and it's just given me an anxious, unsteady heart. My hearts cry is to be filled with Christ's love, for my days, moments, minutes, breath, life, everything I do here to glorify him and I've just struggled so much. I beat myself up more than anyone I know and have been beating myself up all week. This morning I prayed for God to be in everything I do because none of this is for me. Soon after that prayer I read this and wanted to share:

"Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings. And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen."

When I read that I began to think about how quickly the devil jumps into our thoughts and lives to take the glory away from God. I don't give him enough credit. My mom used to say the devil works overtime on Sundays because that's a day when we spend our mornings glorifying God. I feel the same statement can be made about my day to days here. Working for a ministry the last thing Satan wants is for me to live in the freedom of Christ. He wants me to hold tight to my worries, stresses, struggles, pride, anything that will keep my from experiencing and glorifying Christ! But this scripture gives me hope. It says to be self-controlled and alert and after a little while Christ himself with restore me! That is my prayer and I wanted to share that prayer with all of you. 

Please pray that I would stand firm in the reason that I am here. That I would cast my anxieties to him, clear my mind and live in the freedom of Christ! That I wouldn't be overwhelmed by the idea of going home, the things I'll experience when I'm there, the worries that will face me once I get there, and that my time will be focused daily on each opportunity Christ gives me to spread his love to the people and children here and for the ministry he is preparing for me back home! Love you all!